Whenever a VC tweets about how “thrilled” they are about something, I always think about some poor soul out there who might actually believe that said VC is genuinely “thrilled” that the VC’s college roommate decided to take a VP of Product role at some hot startup.
Here’s a handy chart to better understand VCs and the euphemisms involved.
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2F6d861b0c-582d-47dd-9753-a37891b221d9_1120x1230.png)
Of course, not all VCs think this way. Some of them pride themselves on thinking differently. For those VCs, you’ll find this chart to be helpful:
![](https://substackcdn.com/image/fetch/w_1456,c_limit,f_auto,q_auto:good,fl_progressive:steep/https%3A%2F%2Fbucketeer-e05bbc84-baa3-437e-9518-adb32be77984.s3.amazonaws.com%2Fpublic%2Fimages%2Fce125d3d-afd3-4d07-b12c-14f53a5c7613_1120x1230.png)
Happy Holidays! May your holidays be filled with carried interest and narrative violations!