Understanding VC Doublespeak

In this world, speaking clearly is a Narrative Violation

Whenever a VC tweets about how “thrilled” they are about something, I always think about some poor soul out there who might actually believe that said VC is genuinely “thrilled” that the VC’s college roommate decided to take a VP of Product role at some hot startup.

Here’s a handy chart to better understand VCs and the euphemisms involved.

Of course, not all VCs think this way. Some of them pride themselves on thinking differently. For those VCs, you’ll find this chart to be helpful:

Happy Holidays! May your holidays be filled with carried interest and narrative violations!